Poker is a game, which provokes different feelings. One day it is love and in another one its hate. Some sessions bore you to death, others make you feel excited and alive.
Even though poker is a serious game, in which money are lost or won, there are plenty of occasions where you can laugh and have fun with the game. Today we have compiled a list of funny poker jokes and trending poker memes, which made us chuckle or laugh out loud.
No serious strategy discussions and reviews today. Let’s have some fun !
Trending Poker Memes
Funny Poker Jokes
Sam scores $1 million after winning first place in a big tournament in Las Vegas.
A reporter asks: “Congratulations on your big win! How do you plan on spending your million dollars in winnings?
Sam responds: “I owe some people some money, so I’ll be paying my debt to these guys.”
The reporter follows up: “And what about the rest?”
The player responds: “Well, I guess they’ll have to wait.”
Two friends head out of the poker room. One is completely naked and the other is in his underwear. The naked man turns to his friends in his underpants and says: “I’ve always respected you for knowing when to stop.”
What’s the difference between a large pizza and a poker player?
A large pizza can feed a family of four, a poker player can’t.
I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol, and wild women. The other half I wasted.
Q: How’s a casino like a good woman?
A: Liquor in the front, poker in the back !
Girls are like blackjack, I’m trying to go for 21 but I always hit on 16.
There’s a guy who lives in London. One morning, he hears a booming voice. The voice says, “Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas.” He ignores the voice, but can’t help thinking about this seemingly divine message. Later in the day, he hears the voice again.
“Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas.” Again, he ignores the voice. Soon he hears the voice every minute of the day. “Quit your job, sell your house, take all your money, and go to Las Vegas.” He can’t take it anymore.
He believes the voice. He quits his job, sells his house, takes all his money, and flies to Las Vegas. As soon as he steps off the plane, the voice says, “Go to theRio.” He goes to The Horseshoe. The voice says, “Put all your money into a World Series of Poker (WSOP) entry.” He puts up his $10,000 and buys an entry into the WSOP.
He goes to his assigned tournament table. The first hand is dealt and the guy is dealt pocket Aces. The voice says, “Go all in.” He pushes his entire $10,000 bankroll into the pot. Three players call. The dealer lays down the flop which is Jh10h9h.
The voice says, “Damn!”
One of those poker jokes, which may be based on true story : )
That bastard husband of mine wanted me to sleep with the landlord because he lost the rent money playing poker,” the housewife told her neighbor. “You didn’t do it, did you?” “I have to admit I did — though with certain misgivings, I might add. What I haven’t done, though, is tell my husband the rent is paid up for six months!
Wife : I can’t believe you lost your wedding ring in poker.
Husband: Yes very strange, especially as i still had money left to gamble.
Two gentlemen meet on the deck of the ship.
“Terrible boredom, sir,” one says. – Would you like to play cards?
– I would be glad, sir, but, alas, the last time I played fifteen years ago.
– It’s okay, last i played was twenty years ago. – Steward, serve a pack of cards.
Steward brings the cards. The first one takes the deck, weighs it on the palm and says:
– One card is missing. The second one also estimates the deck in the palm of his hand and specifies:
– Yes, the eight Hearts.
Really hoping this is one of those poker jokes, which is not based on a real story 🙂
Two players are talking :
“They say poker is a heartless game!”
-Nothing like this! For example, yesterday a guy died during the game and we played the whole game standing up !
A doctor answers his phone and hears the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.
“We need a fourth for poker,” said the friend.
“I’ll be right over,” whispered the doctor.
As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, “Is it serious?”
“Oh yes, very serious,” said the doctor gravely. “There are three doctors there already.”
My mate’s gambling is getting out of hand. He’s just bet his newborn son in our game of poker.
I thought, “I might have to raise him.”
Two priests and a rabbi are playing poker in a basement. The cops bust in and seeing they are all men of God decide to give them the chance to explain. They turn to the first priest:
Father, were you gambling?
As God is my witness, the priest replies, I was not .
They let the first priest go. They turn to the second priest:
Father, were you gambling?
As Jesus is my witness, the priest replies, I was not .
The let the second priest go. They finally turn to the rabbi:
Rabbi, were you gambling?
The rabbi looks around and says, With whom?
A blond girl playing freeroll was taking her time and playing very slow. The timer was started and she still could not take a decision how to play the hand. Her friend asked her with surprise, “What is going on? Why aren’t you playing?” The blond girl replied, “I am playing! I am just slow-playing aces!”
Alison Brie, Anna Kendrick, and Keira Knightley play a game of strip poker. Who wins?
I came home from the pub…
…four hours late last night.
“” Where the fuck have you been?!” Screamed my wife.
I said “I’ve been playing poker with the lads”
” Playing poker with the lads?” She repeated “Well you can pack your bags and go!”
“So can you” I said “This isn’t our house anymore”
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