5 Hilarious Types of Poker Players You’ll Encounter at the Table

funny poker player types

Being a poker player is a strange career choice. You always get to meet new people, whether online or live. Grinding is sometimes a dull chore fest. Other times, it is an exciting adventure.

Even though it is a competitive game about winning the most money possible from the people you sit with, sometimes poker is funnier than the best comedy film.

Most professional poker players have encountered thousands upon thousands of opponents, yet almost all of them you can put in certain categories. Today we will take a look in one of the funniest types of poker players, who also happen to be a big donators to your bankroll.

5 Funny Types of Poker Players You Will Encounter at Some Point in Your Career.

hilarious types of poker players

The “All-In” Individual: This player has one strategy, and one strategy only – going all-in. Regardless of the cards he has, he’ll push his entire stack into the center of the table and hope for the best. He’s the type of player you relish seeing when you have a great hand, but despise when you’re dealt a weak one.

The “Slow Roll” Artist: This player derives pleasure from tormenting his opponents by taking his sweet time to reveal his winning hand. He’ll act as if he’s struggling to make a decision, and then ultimately flip over his cards with a smug smirk on his face. If you’re fortunate, he’ll get what he deserves when he slow rolls the wrong person and gets called out for his poor behavior.

The “One-Upper”: No matter what story you share at the table, this player will always have a bigger and better one to tell. You caught a 20-pound fish last weekend? He caught a 40-pounder. You aced your physics exam? He got a perfect score on the MCATs. It’s hard not to roll your eyes at his ceaseless tales of triumph.

The “Drunk”: This player is usually the life of the party, but not necessarily the most skilled poker player. He’ll be slurring his words and spilling his beverage all over the table, but he’ll keep playing regardless. He’s the one who will call your all-in with a 2-7 offsuit and hit a fortunate two pair on the river.

The “Tilt Master”: This player can’t handle losing, and when he loses, he goes on tilt – making one bad decision after another. He’ll start raising with weak hands, calling too much, and making himself an easy target for the other players at the table. It’s entertaining to observe him self-destruct, but you don’t want to be seated next to him when he does.

Here Are Some Hilarious Poker Player Types , Which You Encountered if You Are a Poker Agent

types of poker players who contact poker agent

Since the majority of poker enthusiasts are not poker agents, you probably have never dealt with these archetypes. For those of you who are poker agents and affiliates, surely you know what we are talking about :

The “Conspiracy Theory” guy : He does not only distrust his agent. He distrust the room he is playing in, the software behind the online poker site and the online poker industry as a whole. He is sure that he is losing, because everything is rigged against him. The conspiracy theory guy is never at fault and in his own mind, he is a world class poker player, who everyone tries to cheat. For him, online poker exist to punish pros like him and everything is against him.

The ” Beggar ” : This type of poker players are not even fully playing the game. They are just after some free chips, free money or at least some enormous deposit bonuses. Often they pretend to be a high stakes players, in order to get some free chips to play with or some kind of credit line, which they can lose and block you from contacting them ever again.

The ” Nit ” : As a poker playing style, nits are not so bad. They just fold a lot and wait for premium hands to play with. Not the most fun to play against, but also easy to exploit. However, by the term ” Nit “, we mean other type of people.

Those of them, who are “nits” outside of the poker table. These guys who can drop a deal, because of 1% difference in rakeback or always asking if there are online poker sites, who offer 0.01% rake or if possible no rake at all.

The ” Human Slot Machine ” : Those “poker players” love to play poker, as if it some kind of slots machine. The word bankroll is not present in their vocabulary. In their mind, if they have 5000$ to play , they would deposit it 20$ at a time. They would cash in , between 5 and 50 times a day, but would never cross their mind to deposit and play with bankroll. For them is enough to put just half a buy in and try their luck. Such poker players are also very impatient and would never wait around. They would prefer the most unsafe online poker site, as long as the deposits are done immediately.

The ” Child ” : This is the least ” hilarious poker player type “. Often it ends up being just annoying. The “child” is a guy, who never understood how to join, what to do or how to play. Even if you explain to him perfectly, he always seems to get it wrong. If by some miracle the “child” starts to play, he acts as the most entitled person in the world. These divas , always want everything to happen the second they mention it.

Not only that, if something is not towards their liking in some poker room, they would request for it to change, regardless of the preferences of other poker players. If it does not happen, they would want to meet the owner of the poker site and discuss it with him directly.

They are never happy and always find some problems in everything and would nag about it with days. The child will behave like the only important player in the world and will want the full attention on him, regardless of anything. If some minor problem arises, he will write about it at least 5 times a day, until fixed.

Final Words

So there you have it – five types of poker players you’re certain to encounter at the table. Whether you adore them or loathe them, they all contribute to the excitement and amusement of the game. Just remember to stay composed and play your best game, regardless of who you’re up against !

If you can think of other hilarious poker player archetypes, mention them in the comment section below ! Liked this article ? Subscribe to our Telegram News Group , in order to get updated for new blog entries, poker sites, tournaments , memes and everything interesting in the online poker scene.

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